Genesis Chapter 1 -Then God said: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness". God then created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.
Well respectful dear GOD sir, unfortunate as I might add that you definitely did not have the last laugh. Here, you were when you were thinking that there shall be only two different sides of the coin, two opposite spectrums of life, the plug and the socket and then WHAM ….couple of Marketing Magicians, start off and then slam-dunk and pretend as if they can continue on your footsteps to create their own specific brand of "sex"
Story time : Here I was, limping from post to post not due to cause of any ligament fracture or knotting of the shoe laces but for the fact that the writings on the wall had finally come true and my Chappals(Slippers) had finally worn out after almost 2 years of brutal marauding which even Abel Rosvonoski would have not been able to bear in those tortured Jewish camps … but hey, practical Indian conditions had meant that it had to cross over pot-holes and prick-poles rather than the rubber-tainted highways; wherein Kaccha (rural roads) means Pakka (well-mainted roads) and Pakka means Dabbha(empty cans, usually signifying useless stuff).
So, I get over to a couple of Shoe shops, meandering through the endless soles, necks & tongues !!! Managing to hop into the third shop giving the charge to the Shop assistant to brief me through the entire menu of adornable footwear. Charged up with another customer to befuddle in the endless antagonistic stream of accessories each of which would confuse than help make your mind.
Suddenly, he slips across a lanky piece of smooth rexin across my feet, which rather adorned my feet as a two-piece bikini … Quizzically I looked up at him; "What are these?" I remarked in absolute ignorance, "Foot-wear" he responded as if trying to illuminate my pea-sized brain with the ultimate truth. Stumped rather than offended, I tried to rephrase my previously inane question, "Don't you think that they are too feminine?" and then without even a moments gap of breath he replied, "Uhh Noo Sir, they are Uni-sex" , "What??" , "Uni-sex sire, both ladies and gents wear". Yes, my ears weren't deceiving me and so weren't nature's ridiculous sense of irony.
Now wait… when was the first time, I had heard that word… yeah it was first when my Dad coaxed me to use my Mom's BSA-SLR bike rather than spend another cool 10,000 bucks on a new cycle.
"Stupid", he retorted … "don't act French, objects do not have any sex.. A bike is a bike, not feminine or masculine"
"But dad, chunnu says that I have to wear bangles on my hands and bindi on my forehead to ride that cycle", I whimpered.
"Well, if it means so much to you.. tell your chunnu, that the bike is UNISEX"
"What Undi-sex??"(*UNDI means underwear in hindi)
By this time my mom, hearing such profanity used in her house came running and I had to kick-start my bike to escape from her ..
And when was the last time I had heard it … Hmmm, yes F.R.I.E.N.D.S :-
(Racheal tries to make Joey use a Purse as his accessories, convincing him that it is a uni-sex one)
Joey: What !! I can't carry a Purse ??
Racheal: Unee sex (phonetically sounding like u need sex)
Joey: Speak for yourself, I just now had in the morning ..
Racheal: No Joey, U'n'I sex
Joey: Yeah, now we are trying to get somewhere (using his usual "what you doing" look)
Coming to look about it, though it was GOD who had the original copy-right for developing the sex, it was the meticulous minds of the marketing personal who made us conscious of it and with their magician's wand creating another illusionary market out of nothing …
Men were made to clamor Masculine Deodorants, Pheromonal vests, and even more so amorous Cokes (imagine a Gas-belching guy surrounded by a bevy of fem-fatales) and of course with the beauty accessories under the imperialistic rule of the women folk and what not … and just when they wished to again re-marry their idea they once again come up with some strange combinations of Fairness cream for men or even boot-cut jeans for women
But under deeper consideration, the concept of uni-sex has appealed to be more sanguine and realistic, imagine from now on corporations need not invest in two separate commercials to woo their target bovines(sorry… people) and what more, if it becomes out of fashion for the women folk, then hey proclaim another Annual sale and use it as special offer for Men folk to clear of all the stocks… and even if the men find it pretty too retro, hey there is still another category of gender-neutral caste which have not been dealt it with …
Now the List of the top 5 next unisex products to hit the Market line :-
1) Unisex Watch: Completely encased with the looks of the latest sports model, with the extra fitting wherein you just have to press another button near the clock and voila you get a mirror with your make-up set already fitted in a side socket.
2) Unisex Vests: Definitely one product line wherein the men's limited range of Boxers and mini-Boxers shall be lambasted when we come over combinations of thongs, smooth-slips, lingerie, et all.
3) Unisex Deodorants : Here is something I never completely understood, I mean both of us sweat and stink, but why should the anti-dote be always different for different sex? It is after all a deo and not a perfume..
4) Unisex Fridges : Beer bottles should be able to co-exist with strawberry recipes.
5) Unisex Condom: WTF… if they wanna use them let them ??
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
